Scriptural Help for Anger

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

FORWARD  

We offer this book with the assurance that readers can deal more positively, constructively and usefully with their anger by using the help offered by our loving heavenly Father. Your comments and questions are welcome.

In applying the lessons contained in this book you will find it helpful to study it carefully on the first reading and then re-read it whenever anger again becomes an issue in life. Since the text is mostly free of stories and repetition, it may be beneficial to read it again a week or two after your first reading.

In the text and in scripture quotations you will find the correct personal name of the Creator, Yahweh, and the given name of His son, our savior, Yahshua. His name, 'Yahshua' means 'Yahweh saves'. These names are used in several editions of the Scriptures and are coming into more common usage generally. The Hebrew term elohim will also be found; it means 'mighty being' and has been translated 'god' in most English Bibles.

Chapter 1: Avoiding Anger

WHAT IS THE EXPRESSION OF ANGER? | WHAT MAKES US ANGRY? | HOW TO BE MORE ANGER RESISTANT
 

THE RAGE-PROOF PERSON

Wouldn't it be nice to be a person who never loses his temper, but doesn't get walked all over and enjoys peace in his home and his job? Wouldn't it be nice for his family, friends and associates? Yahweh, our loving heavenly father, has provided ways for us to move toward this goal. Anyone can become rage-proof.
 

WHAT IS THE FEELING OF ANGER?

Anger is a basic feeling like hunger or being cold. It is the feeling that you have been injured. This happens to every feeling person. It has been said that we can only get angry if there is something we care about; in that sense it's a good sign. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way if someone has done wrong to you or done wrong to someone you love or to a little one or a defenseless person.

What we DO with that feeling, however, may bring us to sin (breaking Yahweh's law 1 John 3:4). Rage is not THE response to the feeling of anger, it is but one, poor choice. Be angry but do not sin, Ephesians 4:26. Keep in mind that your reaction to the offense is much more important to you than the offense or the offender.
 

WHAT IS THE EXPRESSION OF ANGER?

What people commonly CALL anger is actually the expression of anger. It can range from showing annoyance to pouting, sulking, criticism, tantrums, screaming, throwing things and even blows. In extreme cases it leads to divorce, murder and war. We often see that happening in the news. What it amounts to is: the feeling of hurt has been converted into an attack upon the perceived hurting person. "I'll get even for that!" [Running away is not considered anger since there is no form of active attack involved.]

On this page we'll talk about the expression of anger. We won't try to deal with any form of mental illness, although people who have been treated for mental problems find these ideas to be a useful, helpful and practical way to more peace in their lives. Our Creator knows best how we should solve our problems.

When you read 'him' or 'her' you should realize it applies EQUALLY to the other gender. Neither men nor women have a corner on any type of rage.

There are several natural consequences of the anger response. It can make one look like a fool, lead to sin and also hurt one's health. On top of all that, it can only make a person's problems worse than he already thinks they are. David said, "Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret; it only causes harm," Psalms 37:8.

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WHAT MAKES US ANGRY?

A popular excuse for getting angry is righteous indignation - anger at sin. It makes you feel so good because you know you are right and he's wrong. Yahweh gets angry; but he does it for good reason. There are hundreds of scriptures which talk about the just fury, anger or wrath of Yahweh. "They have provoked Me to jealousy by what is not elohim; They have moved Me to anger by their foolish idols. But I will provoke them to jealousy by those who are not a nation; I will move them to anger by a foolish nation," Deuteronomy 32:21. Also "And they caused their sons and daughters to pass through the fire, practiced witchcraft and enchantments, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of Yahweh, to provoke Him to anger," 2 Kings 17:17. If you get angry at some form of sin be sure you do not sin (1 John 3:4) as a result of your anger. That really would be foolish, wouldn't it? Remember that Yahweh is the judge and that taking vengeance is reserved only for Him. Dearly beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to the wrath of Yahweh: for it is written, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay," says Yahweh, Romans 12:19.

Pride is probably the most common reason for anger. It results from the need to feel power over others or to control the situation or from the need to feel perfect. This kind of anger is based on a fear of inadequacy. If you feel this kind of anger you need to try to find where the self-doubt lies within you. Give up your pride and insecurity. Rely upon Yahweh for power that really means something. Trust in Yahweh, and do good; so shall you dwell in the land, and truly you shall be fed. Delight yourself also in Yahweh; and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to Yahweh; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in Yahweh, and wait patiently for him, Psalms 37:3-7. and For Yahweh did not give us a spirit of fear; but of power with love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7. Also be sure to read Jeremiah 9:23-24.

Another reason people lose their temper frequently is because their parents trained them to do so. Usually not on purpose, of course; but parents often don't realize that giving in to a child's tantrums and setting a poor example forms habits which will affect the rest of the child's life. We need to teach our children WITH A GOOD EXAMPLE that rage is not acceptable and that resolving differences is what works. Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is grown he will not depart from it, Proverbs 22:6.

If your parents 'taught' the anger response to you then you must stop using excuses like "I'm a (nationality) and we're all quick tempered.", "I guess I've just got a hot temper." or "I've always been that way." Decide on the right, gentle and wise thing to do and ask Yahweh to help you do that. May Yahweh bless you as you strongly determine to follow His ways.

If a person is under some type of stress it often changes their 'normal' response to others. Keep your stress level lower by taking care of important things BEFORE they get to be urgent whenever possible. Work on things that are important but not yet urgent instead of on time-wasters such as watching TV or working on unimportant things that may seem urgent but aren't. Be sure you, your mate, and your children take time to pray and meditate alone. [One person wraps their whole TV set in paper for a month at a time just because it's good for her family to be without it. TV contributes to bad behavior in many ways, but that's another story.]

In addition to controlling your stress to help you control your own anger, before you express anger about another person's actions, consider what kind of stress they may be under. There are many reasons why a person may do something irritating.

We usually get angry with those we love; our mate, children or others in our family. Try to remember that these are the people you love most. If a person is going to be patient, kind and forgiving toward anyone it makes sense to start right at home.

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HOW TO BE MORE ANGER RESISTANT

Some modern psychologists will advise you to "express your anger, don't hold it in, let it all out". Not only is this NOT SCRIPTURAL but it also doesn't work well. Yahweh has given us good, orderly ways of handling problems. Shouting, breaking and throwing things IS NOT the solution.

The right way for us to handle anger is to solve the problem, forgive any past wrongs and then to bring the feeling of love into the situation to replace the feeling of being hurt and wanting revenge. This does not happen automatically. Here are some steps you can take when rage threatens your peace of mind:

1. Be pro-active. Pro-active is the opposite of re-active. Reaction to stimulus is what we expect of an animal or an object. Remember the science lesson: 'for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction'? That is true for mass and energy - not necessarily for the mind of man. We have been given the ability to decide how we will react to a social stimulus. That means that YOU CHOOSE your response to ANY stimulus. No matter what happens to you, you have the choice to respond with a smile and a gentle word. Many people already practice choosing to get angry when it is not appropriate. We need to choose to be patient, kind and loving when it might seem appropriate to be angry.

If you have to deal with an angry person don't allow their tantrums to change your plans. Be sure that you give them no reason for offense but make your decisions based only on your own values and priorities. Unless it is your own child their anger is only between them and Yahweh.

Not only do you have the freedom to choose your response but you have the responsibility to choose the path of love. "You have heard that it has been said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: but I say to you, that you must not resist [those who are] evil: but whoever shall strike you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue you at the law, and take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. And whoever forces you to go a mile, go two with him. Give to him that asks of you, and do not turn yourself away from him that would borrow from you.

You have heard that it has been said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy'; but I say to you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you; that you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven: for He makes His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you earned? Do not even the publicans do the same? And if you salute your brethren only, what do you do that is more than others? Do not even the publicans so? Therefore, you must become perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect," Matthew 5:38-48.

2. Don't mind other people's business: Before you allow your anger to rise, ask yourself; is this MY affair? Is this for ME to be angry about? Don't get mad about something that shouldn't affect you at all. Do you remember the parable of the workers who thought their pay was unfair?

But [the owner] answered one of them, and said, 'Friend, I do you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a penny? Take that which is yours, and go your way. I will give to this last, even as to you. Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with my own? Is your eye evil, because I am good?' So the last shall be first, and the first last," Matthew 20:13-15.

Remember that another person's anger is not your problem unless you have wronged them. Otherwise their rage is between them and Yahweh. If their anger is hurting you then treat it as you would any other hurt.

3. Mind YOUR OWN business. Be careful that YOU do right, not wrong, to those whom you see during the day. Concentrate on the one part of the world you can do something about - your own actions. Show yourself to be an example of good works, pure doctrine, gravity, and sound speaking that can not be condemned, so that he that takes the part against you may be embarrassed because he has nothing evil to say about us, Titus 2:7-8.

4. Pray about it, whatever it is. There is no situation so difficult that Yahweh cannot make it right. By prayer you can influence ANYTHING. Rather than choosing to attack against the one whom you feel has hurt you, bring the problem to the one who can do something about it - Yahweh. Pray for yourself to have your problem solved, pray for the other person to get what he wants and pray for others who may be bystanders affected by the problem. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me: You shall stretch forth your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand shall save me, Psalms 138:7.

If you tend to lose your temper, review these thoughts and pray for help in dealing with people with wisdom, love and patience instead of anger. Pray OFTEN for help from the Spirit. Yahweh wants to hear and answer those prayers.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance: against such there is no law, Galatians 5:22-23. Our Father in heaven wants each of us to enjoy these fruits in our lives.